Death-related Family Customs
If not for my fathers recent passing, I wouldnt have been subjected to many customs, traditions and rituals that needed to be observed all at once. Even if I grew up with too many of them, Ive always been snooty of most practices (customs, rituals, traditions: whichever you prefer to call it) particularly if it defies logic and scientific basis. Ive always believed however that it wouldnt hurt to follow in observance just so as not to offend anyone, especially the elders.
Therefore all throughout my fathers wake, Ive been the obedient child (some bitching I kept to myself) and avoided questions like: Why my mother, the widow, has to sit only on a special chair (placed beside the coffin) that all else is prohibited to sit on even if its the only remaining empty seat in the house? Or why she had to use a separate set of utensils at meal times. The same set are the only ones she was allowed to use during the wake. Or why 3 days after the burial, my mother has to receive a ceremonial bath from another widow at the break of dawn, after which the two of them has to walk to church to pray while other married women (with living husbands) must steer clear of their path? As if widowhood is a curse or something contagious. Those were only some of the customary practices that out of respect to my father and our whole family, I let pass with eyes and ears closed.
5 Comments
Thanks for sharing, Glo. I’m sorry for your loss. (((hugs)))
thanks so much lei.
mao talaga an buhay. Sabi ko ngani dati pamalayi, kasal, bunyag, bday party… an inaatindiran ta, niyan… lamay? Yadto na talaga an panahon ta. Pakadto na naman an mga magurang ta.
Good decision talaga na wara ako pagkilamay kan pay mo. Kay dati, sa burol san ina ni shirley, burod man ako, kunadto ako. (Bawal baga an burod lamay kay sasakiton daw mag-anak. Di man ako tubod. Buwa.) Nagkamararing an gurang sa Bulacao. Mao an nagkariribok. Bawal na mag-otro kay di kaya san mga gurang an may burod sa lamay. Sa ako, ok. sa sangputan ko…
Whew!
arlen: i totally agree. mapagal sa parte san kagurangan, nginangarat sira.
ana jud nang tao dai mamatay