NYT Article: “A Good Provider is One Who Leaves”
The New York Times’ Jason DeParle discusses the worldwide migrant workers’ phenomenon in his article “A Good Provider is One who Leaves“. His primary illustration is the Comodas family, which has at least 2 generations of overseas Filipino workers (OFWs).
The article made me think of how the millions of OFWs, who are away from their loved ones, affect the core values of the Filipino family. Countless children grow up not really knowing their mother/father. They are well-provided for, much more than their not-so-lucky neighbors. They can have 3 meals a day, watch oversized TV sets, go to good schools, and enjoy an abundance of material possessions. But their parents are strangers to them, to what detrimental effect?
It’s a quandary that I’m hopeful most of us will not have to face. These hard-working providers are heroes in a place where circumstances force many to make the difficult choice between two evils.
4 Comments
we have helped a lady whose name i will not mention. she came to chicago as a companion by a right matron from the phils. 11 years ago. she became the baby sitter of my nieces and nephews and then when she saw an opportunity to make more money, she asked my sister in law’s permission and she wnet on her own as a care giver. now…she has been a caregiver for the past 12 years here, and she told us that she left her youngest son at the age of three and now he is 14 years old and does not even have any notion how her mother looks like. this woman has not returned back to the phils. and has to sacrifice a lot just to support her family back home who was abandoned by her husband and married her neighbor. i can feel the pain and the loneliness of some of our kababayan away from home. i have plenty of true stories to tell about these heroes, doing the best they can just to send money and help back home, not thinking about themselves. yes, the OFW are the unsung heroes of our country and the biggest dollar earners of the land.
hey Melsantos – welcome back! we miss your insightful contributions around here…
about that woman you talk about, that is just really heartbreaking, and to think she hasn’t gone back home yet! I know a few women in the same boat as her, and it’s hard for them to talk about it,you know. there’s that guilty feeling of not being present for your children, and yet also desperation to provide for your family. unfortunately, at times the family back in the PI become so dependent on them that they don’t care to work hard anymore, “tutal, dollar-earner si ina.” and they have no idea how hard life here is for some of us. nakaka-awa ano.
Grace,
here’s another story. some years ago my wife and my in laws went to Italy to follow my son’s school performances in 7 cities of Italy. the orchestra of our school system was invited by the school system of Italy, my son is part of the choral group that sings with the orchestra.they performed
in Milan,Venice,Firenze,Solmona,Padua,and Rome.
after Rome, we did our own exploration in Rome and the Vatican. we took the train and made a mistake and had a detour. we were trying to look for the Church of Santa Maria Maggiore and ended up at St. John Laterano. inside the train, there were these three ladies who kept on looking and staring at us. we cannot figure out if they are vietnamese or burmese. then one of them approached me and asked “naligaw kayo manong?”. we all started laughing and they guided us to the right train and the right stop. we explored on foot Rome and was so tired. after 2 hrs of walking and stopping, we were standing at the bus stop and we met the same three ladies again and they approached us again and asked if we are again lost. so i replied “Naku B…. we are just tired and very hungry. imbitahin mo naman kami sa bahay mo!(not thinking that they are domestic helper)” my wife stared at me and said to B….”Pasensiya ka na ang kapal ng mukha ng Mr. ko”. but they did invited and took us to their boss house and fed us. the boss was an “Avocato” (a lawyer) who is in the Phils. vacationing. B… family as they related the story to us was the neighbor of Contemplation in Laguna, who was hanged in Singapore. B… and her 3 sisters sold their houses to pay the recruiter back home for P300,000 and they were adsvised that when they land in Romania somebody will meet them and give them a job. they landed, nobody met them, they were stranded and they bumped into a group of pinoys with the same fate. they paid this Romanian border smugglers all the dollars that they have and was boarded in a small car. when they were crossing the border check point, they were asked to lie face down on the floor of the car and they were covered with jackets and blankets. they were not detected by border patrol. one of the pinoy in the group got scared and run away in the snow, two days later they were told that he died. they did arrived in Milan and does not know anybody. they were helped by other pinoys until finally with the aid of the Divine Providence they met the “Avocato” who is now their present employer. B… told me she slept with this man and she did not care and did not have any guilt about it, she wanted her and her siblings to survive in Italy. the “Avocato” took care of their papers, they are now legal, she was able to petition her mother and the rest of her siblings and her sister’s in laws. they are now working legitimately in Italy and the “Avocato” goes home to the Phils. every Christmas season and spend the entire Christmas holidays in the Phils. up to now, we are still in contact with B…. and the rest of her family. i was there when the shooting of Milan is ongoing and B… was out guide. this Christmas, my wife and i will be going to Rome and will meet with B’s… family.
this is a true story Grace, and i always repeat this story over and over to some of our kababayans that i encounter in Europe and abroad.
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